


SLC Backspace Challenge - this has no title im screaming

by ConvictedMemeOffender



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types, Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: F/F, I wrote this in 2 hours, idk - Freeform, just imagine vampires are part of society, slc backspace challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConvictedMemeOffender/pseuds/ConvictedMemeOffender
Summary: hhhhhhhhh
Relationships: Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	SLC Backspace Challenge - this has no title im screaming

**Author's Note:**

> hhhhhhhhh

[ https://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/620559184392503297/your-landlord-is-a-vampire-so-he-offers-you-a ](https://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/620559184392503297/your-landlord-is-a-vampire-so-he-offers-you-a)

_Your landlord is a vampire, so he offers you a deal. You can pay your rent in money… or in blood._

  
  


* * *

Laura had just finished unpacking the last of her boxes when her phone rang. She made her way across the living room, careful to avoid stepping on any of her belongings that were strewn across the floor. Perhaps she should have put the stuff away as soon as she got it out of the boxes, seeing as she was quickly losing sight of what belongs where. She must admit, she had gotten caught up in all the excitement of finally having her own place. 

Her phone stopped ringing when she got to it at last, only to start again. The first few opening notes of Renegades started filling the room.

“Hey, dad, sorry I missed your first call, I was unpacking!”

“No worries, pumpkin! I was just calling to check in to see how you’ve settled in so far. I wish I could have been there to help, but work…”

“It’s ok, dad. I know how busy it gets sometimes. I’m doing alright so far, I’m just surprised by the amount of stuff I have. I thought you were all about teaching me to be environmentally conscious and frugal,” she finished with a giggle.

“Hey, I did the best I could. Being a single parent is hard, honey. But if you wanna get rid of some stuff, I’m sure you can find some place to donate, like a thrift store, or, I don’t know, a church?”

“No, that’s ok. I’ll just get more shelves or something. Listen dad, I really gotta go now, I still have a lot do to. Call you tomorrow?”

  
“Alright, alright, I’ll let you go now. Don’t forget about the Alumni dinner on Saturday, I’ll see you then, ok?”

“Yeah, sure. Ok, have a good night. Love you, pops.”

“Love you too, pumpkin. Good luck with your unpacking.”

  
  


Laura was just about to turn back to her piles of books when there was a loud knock at her door. She sighed. With the amount of constant interruptions it seemed pretty unlikely she’ll ever finish moving into her new apartment, let alone get a good night’s sleep before her brunch date with Laf and Perry tomorrow.

She trudged over to the door, plastered on her biggest smile and slowly opened it.

There was a young woman standing on the other side, she didn’t seem much older than Laura herself. She was clad in all black leather, wearing combat boots and some black sunglasses to finish off the look. There was no direct sunlight in the hallway, so it seemed a bit weird.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m Carmilla. Your check bounced.”

“My check?”

Laura was confused. What check was this girl talking about? It couldn’t be-

“Yeah, so, your deposit didn’t go through, and Maman really isn’t a fan of losing money, so I’m gonna need for you to find some other way to pay us.”

“Oh my god, you’re the landlord? Landlady? I’m so sorry, I thought I had cleared it with my bank. There must have been some kind of mixup. I can get you the money by the end of the week?”

“That won’t do, cupcake. It’s not just your deposit, the first three months aren’t paid for either.” 

The other girl rolled her eyes and pushed herself past Laura.

“Hey, I don’t think you’re allowed to just barge in like that in those leather pants of yours. There have to be some sort of rules, laws, in our contract.”

  
  
“Contract's only legal for paying tenants. And since you’re not a paying tenant, I can basically do whatever I want. Hey, is that the entire Harry Potter collection? The Collector’s Set?”

“Hold on a minute. I sent that check two weeks ago. I should know if it cleared or not. You should have said something sooner. I can’t exactly fix this in one day, you know?”

“Not my problem, sundance. You better cough up that money or find another way to pay us. Say, what’s your blood type?”

“My _what_? Why do you need to know my blood type? Unless, oh my god, of course I managed to move into the apartment with vampire landlords. Out of all the hundreds of available ones. Just my luck, isn’t it. Great. Super. Totally awesome.”

“I was mostly joking, but if you’re offering.”

  
  
“Nope! No offering here. I’m not some human juice box for you to suck on.”

“Suck on something,” the other girl mumbled.

_“WHAT?!”_

“Nothing. Listen, buttercup. Just because we’re vampires doesn’t mean we’re inhumane. Well, most of us. Well, some. Me, namely. Maman? Not so much. So what’ll it be? Money or a small blood donation?”

“Just because it’s an acceptable form of payment in your world, doesn’t mean it is in mine.”

“My world is your world now, cutie. That’s what the law says. Can’t do anything about it now.”

  
  
Laura wasn’t sure when she started pacing around the room, not bothering to avoid the stuff on the floor anymore. There was no point now.

“Ok, fine. Say I, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, _donate_ some blood. How much will I have to give to get you off my back? A glass? A pint? A liter? What’s the exchange rate between cash and blood?”

  
  
“I think you can get around $600 dollars per pint? I don’t really keep up with, what did you call it? The exchange rate?”

  
  
“Ok, so I owe you, let’s see, deposit of $600, that’s one pint. One month of rent is $800, that’s, three months, $2400, that’s four pints. So five pints of blood in total. You’re only allowed to donate every two to four weeks, depending on your gender and size. So I could get you everything in about three months?”

Laura finished her rant with a smug expression. Surely, if it would take three months to get all the blood she owed, the girl would much prefer waiting a week for the money?

“Did you actually do the math on that?”

The other girl, Carmilla, raised an eyebrow at Laura. The cupcake had some spunk, Carmilla had to admit that.

“Yes, I did. So what will it be?”

“Tell you what, cupcake. I’ll give you two weeks to sort out your finances. And I’ll drop the deposit. So just three months of rent. Think you can manage that?”

Laura grew suspicious. It wasn’t enough having to take a deal with a vampire, now she was being nice?

  
“So, what’s the catch?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Carmilla feigned innocence.

“There’s always a catch. I’ve seen enough shows to know how this ends. I’m gonna end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Oh, my dad is SO gonna kill me.”

  
  
“Relax, cutie. The catch is dinner, with me, on Saturday. Sound fair?”

“Dinner? With you? But, I don’t even know you. And you’re my landlady. I don’t think that’s all that ethical…”

“Getting to know someone is what first dates are for. And technically speaking, Maman is your landlady. I was just sent to deal with a problem. And what do you know, problem solved. So, what do you say?”

Laura was sure her eyes were going to pop out of their sockets.

“Nothing? Ok then, guess I’ll see you on Saturday. Wear something nice, I’ll pick you up at 7. And don’t you worry about the money thing, I’m sure we can come to an agreement. Bye, cutie.”  
  
And with that, she poofed, _poofed,_ out of the living room.

“Wait, the Alumni dinner…”  
  


Her dad was so going to kill her.

**Author's Note:**

> hhhhhhhh thank you for reading


End file.
